At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
