No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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