maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
