"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
