I didn't shave. On purpose
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
please don't ironically join a cult
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