Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
