Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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