well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize