i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize