I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well you can't waste a boner
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
