i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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