also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
