Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
