Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
