The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
