You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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