The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
