Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize