do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
