Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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