You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
