dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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