i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Randomize