I just made out with a guy for $7.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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