he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
