ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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