I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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