a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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