"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize