if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
