Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
