The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
