How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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