I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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