Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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