Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
