Buhtt sex?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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