is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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