if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
