wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
