I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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