i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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