I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
