I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
