windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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