dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
