she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
