He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
