She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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