Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Someone came in the potted fern
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
