The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
