So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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