i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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