Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
