there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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