I think I died a long time ago.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
